I got the print home from the store by the skin of my teeth. It was too big to fit into the back of my car, so it was decided by the loading dock st
aff to strap it to the top. It sounded like a good idea at the time. One of them had been in the Navy for 6 years and knew how to tie a knot.
The two loaders got up on ladders and puttered away with miles of blue twine for 20 minutes beneath the blazing Arizona sun. It was 94 sweltering degrees out at the time. We were all drenched in sweat by the time they were done. They assured me I was good to go so off I went on the 17 mile drive home.
As soon as I hit 35 miles per hour, I knew had a big problem. The front end of the print started flapping up in the air. And the speed limit was 50, but I was slowing so much that I became "that driver" who everyone wants to aggressively pass and show me special hand signals. I had only made it two miles, but luckily the print didn't fly off and hit any of the drivers behind me.
Sweating bullets now, I drove to the nearest parking lot to see what was the problem. I stepped up to take a look at the situation and it turns out the Navy knots weren't so Navy after all. More like slipknots. It made me wonder just what the loaders were actually doing on top of my car because they obviously weren't paying attention to the task at hand. I attempted to untie and retie, but realized I just didn't have enough blue twine to go around.
Meanwhile, a gentlemen pulled his car up near me and rolled down his window. I thought, how nice, someone is offering to lend a hand. Think again. He asked me if I knew where the nearest Wells Fargo was. I told him it was right inside the grocery store where I was parked. He said thanks and drove away. Let me repeat, he drove away. I am resourceful and capable and can handle my own problems usually, but this man didn't even think about seeing if he could help. Note to my son and all males in the world: don't be so self absorbed, all-important and dumb as to not see when a lady is in a pickle. My husband would have and has in fact gone out of his way to assist a lady or two in situations like this because he has hopes that someone would help me or his mother or his daughters if they ever needed it.
But back to the twine. I suddenly recalled having seen a piece of random white twine in the back seat pocket and unbelievably it was still there! I remember thinking "why do I have this twine in my car?" several times, but I never bothered to throw it away. Thank you, God! There is a reason for everything. I managed to rig it to the back framework of the zebra print and tied it tight to the car rack. This time it worked! I said a prayer and drove the remaining 15 miles home.
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| If you look closely, my lucky white twine is holding the top left corner of the print in place. |
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| Also if you look closely, from the back you'll see the useless blue twine on the top right corner. |
I honestly don't know what I would have done if I didn't find that twine. I don't know anyone with a pickup or van who I could have called and asked a favor.
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| Bad Twine |
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| Lucky Twine |
Once on the driveway, I murderously I hacked off all the blue ties, but carefully and gently untied my bit of precious white twine (which I intend to save as my lucky charm). I unloaded my beautiful zebra print and brought it into the house where it will sit until my husband gets in the mood to hang it. Wait, didn't I say I was resourceful and capable and could do things for myself? Yes, but he is the master wall decor hanger and comes from the school of "measure twice, hang once." I come from the school of "just eyeball it."
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| My zebra giving me the stink-eye for haphazardly strapping him to the top of my car. |
Lastly, I should really live closer to Pier One.
